Your wife doesn’t hate sex; she just hates having sex with you! That should make you feel better, not worse. Knowing that your wife has the potential to enjoy sex should allow you to see the light at the end of the tunnel. For instance, you may be thinking ‘my wife hates sex’, but if you see that light, then you can start tweaking your sex life and getting to a place in your marriage where she actually wants to initiate and have sex with you. All you have to do is take action and start making some changes.
Article Table of Contents
Common Reasons Your Wife Hates Sex
1. She Is Too Stressed Out
For women to get turned on, various parts of the brain have to be shut off. Her mind can’t be stressed, thinking about something she needs to do, or focused on something sad. She will never get turned on if her mind is overloaded with issues and problems. Therefore, if you want your woman to enjoy sex, ensure you help her remove any stress or concerns that you can help remove.
2. You Haven’t Had Foreplay With Her Brain
Women are not like men. For the most part, their body does not become instantly turned on and in the mood. Their mind needs to be warmed up before their body can follow suit. If you engage in rough foreplay before her mind is turned on, then you will annoy her or make her angry, and once her mind turns in that negative direction, you are going to have to eliminate those negative thoughts before sex is even an option again.
You can engage in foreplay with her brain in many ways: you can watch a sexy movie that gets her thinking about sex; you can remind her about a sexy time you had together; you can take her out to dinner and romance her; you can buy her flowers and rub her feet to help remind her why you are such a great husband. The point is you need to warm up her brain and make her feel loving and sexual thoughts towards you in order to get her body warmed up too.
3. You Are Selfish In Bed
Women can take a lot longer than a man to please in bed. She may need oral sex or dirty talk or to act out certain fantasies and that may take too much time for you to do. But if you don’t, then you are being selfish in bed. You are looking out for your own pleasures and not doing what she needs (not just wants) in order to experience pleasure. A selfish husband will never have a wife who is excited to have sex.
The good news is that a few extra moments of invested time can make sex so much better than you ever dreamed of. The better news is that you don’t have to spend extra time pleasing your wife every time you have sex, because if you give her what she needs most of the time, she will be willing to have more quick and dirty sex sessions that are all about you.
4. You Have No Idea What You Are Doing
If you have a routine in bed, and it constantly displeases your wife, then why would she want to jump into bed with you? If it’s not pleasurable, then it is not something that she will want done to her again and again.
How do you know if you know what you are doing? You will not be thinking ‘my wife hates sex’ – that is for sure. You will have confidence in your sexual abilities, and you will be able to tell that your wife is fully enjoying your moves in bed.
While there are many manuals and books available to help you learn how to fully please a woman in bed, there is no manual for your specific wife. The best way to ensure you are doing what she wants is to listen to her and pay attention to her cues.
For instance, if she is enjoying what you are doing, then she will naturally move her hips slightly and make small pleasurable noises. But if she is not enjoying what you are doing, then she will verbally express her dissatisfaction through sighs, clicks of the tongue, or rough and jerky movements (as she tries to get you off the area you are focused on).
Go out and learn everything you can about pleasing a woman sexually, and then as you practice what you learn, ask your wife to be open and honest about what she enjoys, what she hates, and what she really, really wants you to do next.
In the end, if it feels as though your wife hates sex, then she probably does. A wife who enjoys sex will actively participate and even initiate sex. Take action on your sex life by using the above tips and change the way your wife views sex starting today.