Often marriage counseling does not work. In fact, it has one of the lowest success rates of all forms of counseling. That means even mentally ill people in psyche wards are going to have a better chance of getting better than your marriage…then again, that’s a good thing. As you probably know most husbands have no interest in seeing a relationship therapist.
It’s a statistical fact that most guys don’t know what went wrong after they got divorced. Which means that usually it is the wife who calls things off. So a guy is very unlikely to know what is wrong and so they will think everything is fine by default and not want to talk about their feelings, especially with a stranger.
There is just one logical course of action to take when facing a marriage crisis.
The only way to come together and be better partners is to separate and work individual on being a better person and therefore a better spouse which ultimately results in being a better couple. Communication in marriage is important, but having good conversations is not why the two of you got married. You probably got married out of love, and caring about each other, and wanting to spend the rest of your lives together.
The best marriage guidance that you can get is not going to be from a counselor. The best advice is to look within yourself and find a way to compromise. They say “compromise is the essence of diplomacy”, and if you want your marriage to work, then you have to work towards it.
Once you decide that becoming a better wife (or husband) is how to save your marriage, then you have to figure out what course of action to take. If you are a husband, then you should understand that 3 of the main qualities that a woman wants are: confidence, a sense of humor, and honesty.
So if you are a guy, rather than opening up to some marriage counselor, you are going to have to learn to open up to your wife. When you do so, stay firm and strong. Don’t unleash all of this pent up whining and fear on her. You are supposed to be the rock in the relationship, the one to rely on – so important!
In the past, women would rely on the man to go out and hunt, bring home the “bacon” and be the one who is successful and the provider. That is the natural way and that is the way that a husband should be. For women, you also need to embrace the role of the wife. There are changing roles and all that, but ultimately couples do better with a male/female dynamic, with the man being the man and the woman being the woman.
Surprisingly, most guys don’t put, “a woman that can cook/clean ” as the best qualities for a wife. In fact, many, like honesty for example, work both ways. Men look for affection and support from their wives. We want a woman that we want to stay with, of course we want her to look good and all, but personality matters a lot when it comes to long term anything. You always want your spouse to be your best friend, and they should be.
If you are the type of guy or girl that is only with your spouse because of some superficial reason, some reason like, you weren’t really into him, but he has money, or you don’t really like the girl, but she did this favor for you or something, then you won’t go too far. As I said before, it really is emotion that binds you together and although emotions can change, if you really feel for your partner, you should be willing to work on your marriage.