Tell Me How To Save My Marriage

I hear it everyday, “Tell me how to save my marriage.” One thing is certain, for a marriage to survive, both the husband and wife must be committed to a long and lasting relationship. Every marriage has challenges, and saving a troubled one takes commitment and a large time investment from both people.  One person can’t do all the right things and have the marriage survive.

If your marriage is struggling, but you both have the desire to save it, you must take action. The longer you wait and allow tension to build, the harder it will be to save the relationship. Here are some helpful tips to get you started:

Both spouses need to understand what commitment means.

Love can cloud people’s judgment making them imagine future lives where everything will be perfect.  Nothing is ever perfect and demanding perfection can turn very negative not long after marriage vows are exchanged.  When these problems inevitably occur, it can spell doom for the relationship.  Both parties need to keep a clear head entering the marriage knowing that they will endure hardships in the future and must stick together to work them out.

Your Wife Still Loves You

Question: How to save my marriage?

Answer: Understand your commitment to your marriage and your partner’s as well.

Expectations are very important when it comes to marriage.

People marry for all sorts of reasons, but if your partner has different expectations going into the relationship it can spell doom as time goes by.  It doesn’t matter how much you love each other, there are peaks and valleys to every relationship.  If one or both of you were not that happy before the marriage and look as a marriage as a respite, it likely won’t be and may even heighten your unhappiness. Every marriage takes a lot of work. Each spouse makes mistakes.  If both parties aren’t willing to make the marriage work, it won’t.

Question: How to save my marriage?

Answer: Know your expectations for the marriage. Know your spouse’s expectations – are they realistic?

Communication is key to a happy and healthy marriage.

Communication however is much more than just talking out loudListening is the key to communication so you will know exactly what your husband or wife is thinking.  Listening can be difficult when there are problems, but this is when it’s most important.  Both parties must feel open to tell their spouse what they feel and think without an overreaction.  Both spouses must be comfortable and respectable with each other so they can work out their problems together.

Question: How to save my marriage?

Answer: Learn to listen, don’t just wait to talk.

Compromising is another important concept.

Living with someone is different than being by yourself and you need to compromise on some issues so both parties will be happy.  This can be very difficult to do.  Some people are strong willed and don’t want to give, but it is mandatory for a marriage to be successful.  Take the long view and understand that getting your way about a lamp shade that you love and your spouse hates isn’t very helpful for the relationship.

Question: How to save my marriage?

Answer: Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Remember that marriage is a two way street, and both husband and wife must be in it for the long haul.  Many people enter marriage on a whim or when they are feeling great. This lack of commitment spells doom for a long and lasting marriage. Marriage should be entered with a clear head. Marriage takes a great deal of work on a daily basis.

Here are four principles to live by:

1. Prepare for changes.

Don’t expect that everything will remain the same. You need to nurture yourself to be prepared for the many changes life will throw at you. Being ever mindful of your relationship will help you navigate changes when they come. Don’t allow your relationship to drift off course.

2. Remember that your spouse has needs too.

When you consider a situation or even a disagreement, remember to try see it through your spouse’s eyes as well. Simply stated, be fair. If you ignore the needs of your husband or wife, they will begin to pull away and make efforts to their own goals which won’t include you.

3. Keep in mind that you are equal in the relationship.

If one spouse always feels subservient to the other, it’s a recipe for failure. Both spouses need to have power in the relationship. Both spouses must make compromises

4. Don’t stop talking to each other. 

Nothing leads to misunderstandings faster than a lack of communication. You’ll avoid a lot of arguments by simply being clear with each other. This doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything, but being open, honest, and accommodating to your partner will go a long way toward a happy marriage.

Have I answered the nagging question of so many, “How to save my marriage?’ Ultimately a marriage succeeding depends on the level of both partners’ efforts. It comes down to this: thriving marriages are made up of happy individuals who work together to be a happy couple. Floundering marriages are made up of unhappy individuals who make each other feel worse.

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