Nine times out of ten your suspicions about an affair will be incorrect. Affairs are usually a last resort for women who feel neglected in their marriage. I know that if you have seen signs of an affair, then it is human nature to think, ‘Is my wife having an affair?’ But most signs of infidelity are closely connected to signs of extreme unhappiness, which means your wife may just be very unhappy in your marriage.
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Some Signs That Are Hard To Ignore
If your wife has disconnected from you then there will be a lot of behaviors that could cause you to think an affair is happening. She may become withdrawn from the marriage, more focused on herself, and start to pursue new activities for her own self-interest. However, those are not necessarily signs of an affair. They may be a sign that she is trying to remove herself from a negative relationship and put some happiness back in her life.
Look for the following signs instead.
- She changes her passwords on all of her social media and email accounts. If she suddenly doesn’t want you to see what she is talking about (or who she is talking to) then she may have something to hide.
- She starts to act giddy and giggly like she did when you first met. If she has met someone else, then those feelings of excitement that come with dating will be present in her, and she will have a hard time hiding them.
- She acts apologetic when there is nothing to apologize for. Even if she feels justified for having an affair, she will still feel guilty about it on some level, and she may try to relieve her guilt in small ways.
Before You Confront Your Wife
If you want your marriage to work, then take this advice to heart. Even if you see the above signs, she still may not be having an affair. If you confront her without proof, then you may cause her to disconnect even further from your marriage. In fact, you may give her a reason to go out and prove you right!
You must have proof before you confront your wife. And it has to be real proof that she can’t talk her way out of. If you confront her with no evidence, and she is having an affair, then she will bury the affair deeper and you will never know the truth.
It Is Probably Not An Affair!
Statistics show that only a very small percentage of women actually have affairs in their marriages. It takes a lot to drive a woman to have an affair, and usually the signs you are seeing point to the fact that she is unhappy in the marriage.
The great news is that if she is unhappy in the marriage there is a lot you can do about that. But first you have to stop accusing her in your mind, because that is not going to help you put any energy into saving your marriage.
The best thing you can do for your marriage is to ask her what’s wrong. Ignorance is not bliss! The truth is always better than the stories you create in your head. Therefore, ask her to be totally honest and upfront with you, and let her know that you want to fix your marriage and make her happy again. Then, listen to what she has to say with an open mind.
Women need to communicate their feelings in order to feel connected, and simply asking her what is wrong (and then paying attention) is a great way to start to repair the emotional and physical bond that you once had with your wife. She will feel as though you care, and you will start to learn what you can do to repair your marriage.
In the end, if you are wondering, ‘Is my wife having an affair?’ don’t close off the lines of communication and make assumptions. Many of the signs you see will just be an indication that she is really unhappy in the marriage, and by opening the lines of communication you will both feel better about the reality of your marriage and stop worrying.