If you have been caught cheating, and you want to move forward with the relationship and keep doing what you are doing, then this article is not for you. But if you have been caught cheating and want to fix your relationship, stop cheating, become the person that your partner deserves, and build a relationship that you deserve, then keep reading.
Article Table of Contents
Figure Out Why You Cheated
The first thing you need to do is figure out why you cheated. Look past your emotions, and find the reason you felt it was okay to go out and have an affair with someone else.
Most of the time cheating is not just about getting with someone for physical contact. It is about satisfying needs that are not being met in your relationship:
- Were you feeling neglected?
- Do you and your partner not communicate anymore?
- Do you not have sex anymore?
Address Your Issues With Your Partner
Once you figure out why you cheated, you need to address your issues with your partner. However, before you tell them what YOU need, let them tell you what THEY need.
If you have been caught cheating, and you start telling your partner how ‘they’ should be acting in the relationship, you are more than likely to cause them to put up their defenses. They will see it as an attack on them when they are not the ones who went out and cheated.
But, if you listen to their needs first, and show them that you want to make an attempt to satisfy them in the relationship, then they will be less defensive when you state your needs.
Fight For Your Partner
Now is not the time to sit back and wait to see what happens. If your partner is mad at you, they have good reason to be mad. Time will help lessen their anger, but it won’t help heal it. You need to take action to make things better and fight for the relationship you want to have. You can do this in two ways.
1. Let your partner know that you want to be the person they deserve.
Doing this means that you have to be willing to start taking action to become the partner they deserve. You need to show them you want to change. Right now, you are simply the person who broke their trust and caused them to feel bad, but you can become the person that supports, loves, and makes them feel great with a little bit of effort.
2. Start rebuilding trust.
This is the biggest thing you lost with your partner when you cheated, and no relationship can thrive without trust. Therefore, you need to be someone who is honest and consistent with your words and your actions. Consistency is important, because any inconsistencies will cause them to distrust you again. For example, if you always call them before coming home and you stop doing so suddenly, this will cause them to become suspicious of you, and it will put a strain on their trust towards you.
As a final point, cheating in a relationship is not a lifetime sentence for you to suffer if you are the one that cheated. When you are caught cheating, you have an opportunity to create a better relationship full of honesty and trust, and your actions will determine whether or not that happens. Therefore, figure out why you cheated, address your relationship issues with your partner, and the fight for you relationship by taking action and building trust.