Flight or Flight: When to Decide Whether You Should Stay or Leave

You’ve been having these fights lately, and they are getting worse every single day. You fight about everything and nothing. You both can’t stop even when you know that every fight leaves you bruised and battered in an emotional way. Somehow, you just both feel that you have to win in every fight.  Or is it even the right time to decide whether you want to fight for your marriage or not?

Sticking with your partner or bailing out of your marriage is a very important decision to make. Whatever decision you will come up with will eventually affect your life and future, including the lives and future of your kids. There is just so much riding on this decision that makes it important for you to be in your right frame of mind when you make this decision.

So exactly when should you decide to fix your marriage or not? Below are some indications that you are not ready yet, and that you should put off the decision for a later, calmer time.

  1. You feel hatred. Hate is the worst influencer of decisions. And many people who decide to leave the marriage out of hatred later regret having done so. As long as there is a pinch of hatred in your heart, the best thing to do is wait it out.
  2. There are other things that distract you. If you have other concerns, aside from your rocky marriage, that are keeping you from focusing on how to stay married, then it’s not the time to decide which ones of these you have to let go. Having other things in your priority list that are competing with your marriage can only muddle the issues and make it difficult for you to see through the mess.
  3. There are other people that are trying to influence you. There are only two people involved in a marriage. And there should essentially be the two of you to decide on whether to work on your relationship or not. If there are others outside of the marriage who are looking for a piece of the action, the best thing to do is to withdraw so you can decide on your own.

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