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What do you do if you believe that your marriage is falling apart, and there is nothing you can do to stop it?
You feel helpless, sad, angry, and many other negative emotions. Learning how to fix a marriage is the focus of your thoughts, so you will look everywhere for answers. There is a plethora of information you can find online that can help you through this trying time. Some people pay hundreds of dollars for marriage counseling and other traditional methods of marriage restoration.
When a marriage breaks up, the process can be just as crushing for men as it is for women. Unfortunately, 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce in the US. Both men and women have similar devastating emotions, but they are expressed in different ways according to marriage counselors and psychologists. Often life after divorce for men results in renewing old activities such as fishing, sports, and other activities that were once enjoyed but fell by the wayside with a new marriage to work on.
This is not dangerous unless it is taken to an extreme with a penchant for risky and even foolhardy activities. This might include turning into a party animal blowing money left and right on booze, wild women and wild times. When you consider the costs of divorce proceedings, you will want to save as much money as you can.
How much does divorce cost?
The legal fees for the divorce proceedings alone can be staggering. If there is only one breadwinner in the marriage — traditionally the husband — he will have to pay the lawyers fees for both parties. The sole provider in a marriage can be ordered by the court to pay legal fees of thousands of dollars for both sides. If you are wealthy this may mean little to you. But most Americans belong in the middle income tax bracket, and they simply cannot afford to dole out such huge amounts. If you do pay your spouse’s fees, the court often takes this into consideration during the property settlement phase so you do not lose as much.
One cost familiar to most people is that of alimony or spousal support. This means that one person has to supply financial support to their ex-spouse after the divorce. Traditionally, a husband paid alimony to his ex-wife, but a wife may also have to pay the husband due to gender equality movements since the 1970s. Alimony will usually last until the recipient remarries. To get a rough estimate of how much is to be paid, you can use a tool called a spousal support calculator. This tool allows you to estimate child support or spous
al support or the both of them together. Remember that this is just an estimate, and a good lawyer can negotiate terms that are more favorable to his client.
Child support is usually part of a divorce, separation, annulment, or a civil union dissolution. A legal determination of parentage for a couple who have never been married may also result in court ordered child support payments. The establishment of paternity can also protect a child’s inheritance rights and Social Security or veterans’ benefits.Another cost of divorce is child support if the couple has children. This is a regular periodic payment made to the parent who has custody of the children for their care and support. The custodial parent or obligee may be the biological parent or a guardian, a caregiver, or the state. For joint custody, the child has no non-custodial parents. The custodial parent with the higher income (obligor) may be ordered to pay child support to the lower income custodial parent.
The largest asset most couples own jointly is a house.
Typically one person leaves the home while the other one stays, or the property is sold and the proceeds from the sale are divided between the ex-spouses. Suddenly there is the expense of maintaining two homes, two cars, and two sets of utility bills. Most folks simply cannot afford this, so a new trend has evolved recently.
The housing market is slow in many areas of the country, so the house may not sell for quite some time. This means that the cost of maintaining the original house with insurance, taxes, and general upkeep is added to all the other ongoing expenses. Many divorced couples end up living together in the same house, because they cannot afford any other type of arrangement. This trend is even part of the storyline in various TV shows such as “Happily Divorced” on the cable channel TV Land!
Sometimes couples are so focused on big money items like their house that they may overlook smaller items they collected during the marriage. These items that constitute part of the marital property may include valuable antiques, art, country club memberships, season tickets, and even frequent flier miles.
Another cost has to do with transporting the children from one parent to the other. With gasoline prices in the four dollar per gallon range, this can add up quickly. Other costs to consider include daycare if the custodial parent has to work extra hours to make ends meet. Then there is always the price of college tuition even though this may be a dozen or so years down the line. An agreement for paying college expenses may be spelled out in a settlement agreement.
Sad, but now you can buy divorce insurance.
John A. Logan created divorce insurance in 2005 where the insured is paid a cash benefit when the marriage ends with a divorce. Divorce is a contributing factor to bankruptcy and poverty in general, so the insurance is in high demand. It will help prevent the insured party from incurring a major financial loss due to the divorce proceedings. You can find more information online.