Article Updated 10/8/2013
When your wife doesn’t seem to love you anymore, should you really exert your energy towards saving your marriage, or should you just move on and live by yourself? I mean, it probably feels like you are living by yourself already, doesn’t it? You are not having much sex, if any sex at all. You have no one to confide in because your wife either gets mad at you or doesn’t feel like listening when you talk. You probably feel more like a single guy living with your unhappy mother than you do a husband with your wife. This is the point that you have to make a decision.
Article Table of Contents
- Decision Number One: Try To Save Your Marriage
- Decision Number Two: Separation
- Your Choice Depends On Your Desire
- Do You Choose To Save Your Marriage?
- Women Can Be Swayed Back To You With The Right Knowledge
- Don’t Wait Until It Is Too Late
- That is the power of real knowledge!
Decision Number One: Try To Save Your Marriage
Most husbands don’t choose this decision (which is why there are so many divorces occurring right now). They don’t see any reason to save their marriage because the future looks depressing.
However, the men who do try to save their marriage, and stumble upon helpful information that teaches them how to interact with their wife in a new way, end up not only succeeding in their marriage, but having a marriage that makes them feel like a newlywed again.
Making the decision to save your marriage means that you make the choice to find out once and for all, ‘How do I get my wife to love me again!’ and then take consistent action on that information you find.
Decision Number Two: Separation
There is a lot of relationship advice for men that promotes separation. Choosing this option is the easy way out because a husband does not have to exert any energy finding out the answer to ‘How to get my wife to love me again?’ But it is also the most painful choice.
The husband suffers as he watches his wife find a new man and appear to be happier than she has ever been before! Soon, the wife asks for a divorce and gets into a marriage that may stand the test of time.
The sad part is that if these husbands could really understand what was wrong with their marriage, and just put forward a little effort to fix the issue, they could save themselves the pain that divorce brings for the rest of their life and instead build a marriage that is happier than it has ever been before.
Your Choice Depends On Your Desire
Every successful goal, including saving your marriage, starts with desire. When you want something, and that want is strong, you make things happen that ultimately get you to your goal.
If you have searched the Internet and told people, ‘my wife doesn’t love me anymore’, then you are probably a guy who has the desire to win back her love, and you would like to save your marriage if you knew what to do. That little bit of desire to save the marriage is all it takes to start doing what is necessary.
If you have lost total desire to be with your wife, then there is no point moving forward. If you are thinking ‘my wife hates me, so what is the point?’ then you will not have the energy to take action to fix your marriage, and you will be in the same place you are now if stay in the marriage, which is not working out well for you.
Do You Choose To Save Your Marriage?
If you do, then you need to face a few truths.
1. Your Wife Is Not Attracted To You
This is hard to hear, but it is true. If you have the feeling, ‘my wife doesn’t love me,’ or ‘my wife doesn’t respect me,’ then she is not showing you any affection. Women tend to show their attraction differently than men. She may not jump your bones, but she would be affectionate, compassionate, caring, supportive, and kind to you if she was feeling even a small amount of attraction. When the attraction disappears, so do all of those traits.
2. That Attraction Was Lost For A Reason
There are a few different reasons that could have caused your wife to lose her attraction; however, the number one reason is your behavior. Chances are you have changed from the man you once were, and her feelings towards you changed as you changed. The man she fell in love with disappeared, and in his place was someone who didn’t appeal to her emotionally.
Interesting note: Physical changes are not often the cause of a loss of attraction for a woman. If a man is satisfying her needs emotionally and physically, then it doesn’t matter what he looks like, he will still be attractive to her.
3. If You Can Build That Attraction Back Up, You Can Save Your Marriage
The good news is that you can build the attraction back up, even if you are saying, ‘my wife wants a divorce’ or ‘my wife doesn’t love me anymore.’ And when you do, your marriage has a long future ahead of it if you can maintain that attraction.
Most people have to get separated to discover the power of attraction. For instance, many married people end up getting back together after they separate because all of a sudden there is a spark of attraction there again. However, if they don’t fix the underlying issue that caused the attraction to fade, they quickly end up unhappy or separating again.
Now that you know the power of attraction, you don’t have to go through all of that pain. If you want to save your marriage and make it last, then you have to find a permanent way to rebuild that attraction. And, it’s not as big of a challenge as it may seem.
Women Can Be Swayed Back To You With The Right Knowledge
Do you know what women are attracted to? I’m willing to bet that you said ‘no’. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to marriage, and knowing how women work at the very core is important to having a happy relationship with your wife.
Understanding women is the key. The problem is that many men find advice from people who don’t understand women, and once they apply those answers to their marriage, they make the whole thing worse.
You need to go to the source. Just as there has been a ton of research done on why men do what they do in a relationship, there has been a ton of research on why women do what they do. And once you understand women on a biological level, and begin to learn why they feel what they feel, you can start to interact with your wife in a way that makes her happy.
It really is that simple! Knowledge allows you to understand why your wife reacted the way she did to a certain situation, and it allows you to easily do what you need to do to smooth things over and bring your marriage back to a healthy balance.
In the end, you can choose to give up on your marriage, but that will result in a lot of unhappiness. Going forward in your marriage doesn’t have to be full of unhappiness if you learn how to make your wife happy on a biological level. When you understand women, you will experience a life full of true love and intimacy with a woman you have loved for a long time, and that makes saving your marriage worth it.
If you want a resource that will really help you understand women on a level you have never experienced before, I urge you to check out the Marriage Savior System. Not only will you learn what your wife is thinking and why she is acting the way she is acting, but you will gain the confidence needed to move forward and save your marriage, on all levels, once and for all.
Don’t Wait Until It Is Too Late
It is funny how hindsight offers perfect vision. I would have to say that it is actually a shame in most cases. As I said, you need to find the right kind of information to help you save your marriage when you are saying “My wife doesn’t love me”, and often you don’t find it until it is too late.
When his divorce finalized, Gerald Rogers created a list of marriage advice he wished he would have had when he was married. This list quickly went viral. It is ironic that it took a divorce for him to really get a clue about what would have worked better in his marriage, and save him from divorce. It’s even more interesting that women all over the world are sending their praises to this man who was not able to keep his wife.
That is the power of real knowledge!
The list includes things such as never stop courting your wife, which I think is excellent marriage advice. The minute you stop trying to be the man that she deserves is the minute that your relationship starts to take a nose dive. I find it interesting that Gerald used this as his first point.
Another great observation he made was to love her for who she is. You cannot fix your wife to become someone you want her to be. You have to love the person she is and be the man you are. She will grow as her life evolves and so will you, it is your job to recognize that her growth is okay, and support and love her as she evolves.
There are 18 other points in his list, including treating her like a woman in bed and sharing everything with her to maintain trust, and every point is just as powerful as the last. However, I especially like his tenth point, ‘Fill Her Soul Everyday’. He emphasizes that men should learn their wives ‘love language’ and discover how to make her feel validated, important, and cherished. If only men could really understand how to make their wives feel like this, no man would be saying, “My wife doesn’t love me”.